Bad Kitty 6

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In Bad Kitty 1, we were amused by a list of phrases cat owners should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard as punishment for misbehavior . . .

Then came Bad Kitty 2 and Bad Kitty 3 . . . then Bad Kitty 4 and Bad Kitty 5 . . . and now here comes #6 . . .

Who knew there were so many ways for a kitty to go bad? :-)

So here the latest things your furry friend needs to remember . . .

  • I will not trip mommy or daddy on the way to the kitchen, even if they are walking too slow.
  • Open windows are not meant to be jumped out of.
  • Morning wake-up calls for breakfast will be more polite.
  • I won't be grumpy anymore when being moved from the toilet lid — my favorite place to nap.
  • Scratching posts were meant to be used, not laughed at.
  • The vet is a friend.
  • Christmas ornaments are not toys.
  • Lit candles can burn me if I get too curious.
  • I realize that you are not trying to get away from me when you close the bathroom door, so I won't open it — especially when we have guests.
  • I will not zip out the front door when the delivery man comes and the house guest answers the door, and then is forced to run all over the neighborhood chasing the 'cat on the run' in her house coat.
  • I will not attack whatever dog comes innocently sniffing around the bushes at the front of the house.
  • I will not use the nicely carved kitchen table leg or the kitchen drawers as my scratching post.
  • I will not go to the linen closet to do my washing up when I come muddy and wet from my outing.
  • I am not an alarm clock and am not obligated to wake the humans.
  • I don't ALWAYS have to be the center of attention.
  • The roof is not a racetrack for cats (or crows).
  • My human does not need rescuing from the bath.
  • Taking a bath is not dangerous for my human.
  • The doctor on a house call does not need assistance. His bag is not the perfect hiding place.
  • A loaf of unbaked bread is not my pillow (ours once slept on the dough made into bread and left to rise on the kitchen counter).
  • The outer windowsills, on floors 3 and above, are not good playing grounds. (Ours fell down 4 floors, limped a couple of days afterwards).
  • My human and her friends can sing without my assistance (a Siamese wailing is quite something.)
  • Having my claws trimmed is a good thing and doesn't hurt, so I shouldn't struggle.
  • I will not lick at the faucet to encourage my human to turn on the drinking water.
  • I will not demonstrate my intelligence by playing with the alarm clock and:
    1. turning on the alarm in the middle of the night, OR
    2. turning off the alarm so my human doesn't wake up, OR
    3. changing the time . . . If I any of these, my human will be angry, not impressed.
  • My human is a good gardener, and the plants do not need extra fertilizer.

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